The Making of a Therapist

The Tapestry of Our Selves

Since I was a young girl, I have always felt things very intensely. When it’s hard for people to lean into your emotions with you or express understanding, it can be difficult to feel safe being as you are. As I grew up, I found myself drawn to a desire to know and understand others. My strong emotions allowed for me to build a strong foundation in empathy and compassion. The anxiety I developed, in addition, necessitated the need to quickly be able to read and befriend people so as to avoid any perceived rejection. Thus, begins the roots of my journey into psychology and the practice of mental health care.

It wasn’t until post-graduate school, as I was practicing as a therapist, that I realized there was a piece missing from my skill set, and that piece was myself. I had spent so much time assessing and blending with those around me, that I had missed opportunities to get to know and understand myself. When you are practicing as a therapist, there is a reciprocal process happening, if you are open to it. As people, couples, and individuals came in to work with me, I would notice parallels between their experience and my own. As I would process with them, opportunities would arise to process for myself, as well.

I realized the value of understanding the functions of our mind and body, the intermingling between the two, and the experiences and relationships that guide our perception of ourselves and the world. I dove into all of the research on the mind, the body, and connection to others. Out of this work emerged the knowledge that human beings are best understood in the context of their lives, that we are constantly building onto a beautiful tapestry with threads and patterns added throughout our lives.

To understand a whole person, we not only need to be able to see this rich tapestry that is them, but also, to understand what they are able to see in themselves, and guide them to see the beauty and strength and validity in who they have become.

I have found that being a therapist is a constant work of self. The more we develop and understand ourselves, the better we are able to assist others in doing the same. I constantly have to develop awareness and be a vehicle of trial and error for the skills and wisdom, I hope to help my clients find within themselves and use those skills to find peace and safety within the relationships they depend on the most.

My hope is that when a client, couples, or family comes to me, they feel engaged in a collaborate and supportive journey towards both knowing themselves, knowing each other, and moving toward their goals for a fulfilling and resilient life.